["Punk rock? What is that, some kind of joke?"]

I woke up one night with a terrible fright
I knew the Lord was coming soon
but what the hell was he doing in my room?
He said, with a mighty crash and a lightning flash,
"Son, you're among the chosen few.
Boy, have I got a deal for you."

CHORUS
And now I, I got a calling from the Lord
Yeah, I, I got a calling from the Lord
Yeah, I, I got a calling from the Lord
He said, "Son, you're just the one I'm lookin' for."

He was kind of fat in his cowboy hat
He spoke with a drunken slur
I knew I should believe him but I wasn't sure
He said, "There's quite a demand for this little scam of selling
guilt and sin.

He said, "My gift to you is a world of fools
who like to follow guys like you."

An opportunity, a growth industry
You can lead the true believers if you follow me...CHORUS